Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
