you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
