all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
