I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
