Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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