I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
