i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
