Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize