We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
