Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
