it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
