Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
