Barsexuality is the new black.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
