I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
