Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
