Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
