Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
