First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
