No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
