It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
