Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
