hell yes lets make some ravioli
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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