im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
