So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
