k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
