Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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