Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
