She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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