i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Rumble strips road head = magical
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
