is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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