doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
