I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
