We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
