My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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