I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
