I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
