I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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