Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
