Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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