Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
