Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
