hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
