Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
