I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
