maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
