you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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