I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
