the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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