Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
