That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
