I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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