sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
